Posts Tagged ‘love’

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The Lack Of Love Hurts

Monday, September 6th, 2010

Everyone is capable of loving. Yes, everyone can love, but not everyone can recognize love. Some people don’t even believe in it, and many people misinterpret other things for it. Some people run from it, and some create a life long search for it. Love is interesting in that it can not truly be bounded by one definition. In fact, the Ancient Greek translation for love has five different words and meanings for our one word “love”. Agape meaning, pure, ideal love, or “love of the soul”. Eros means passionate love, involving sensual desire and longing, or “love of the body”. Philia means practical love, and includes loyalty to friends, family, your community, etc. or “love of the mind”. Storge is natural affection love, like the love you have for your puppy, or the natural affection and love you would have for your child. Xenia means hospitality, it’s cordial and respect for others that you just met or could be a stranger; it’s the reason why your heart goes out to someone that you’ve seen on the news in a bad situation.

The way that I define love is “God is Love”. I feel that the more you know God for yourself, then the more you’ll understand love, and just as importantly, the lack thereof. And just as God is so great, that our minds can’t fully comprehend all of his greatness, the same is true for love. The Bible also defines love in I Corinthians chapter 13. Here’s a snippet:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

Is it possible to love someone more than they love you? Yes! It happens all the time! In fact, God loves most of us a lot more than we are willing to love him back. In a intimate relationship however, this can be uncomfortable at the least or even detrimental. Everyone knows the saying “love hurts”, but I challenge that statement with “the lack of love hurts”. When two people love each other the same way, their expectations of love are the same, so they see eye-to-eye with how they want to be loved and how they want to love. When there is an imbalance of love in a relationship, there are issues. The expectation of love isn’t the same, so one or both partners aren’t being fulfilled. There is a lack of love somewhere, and that lack is what causes the pain. Never apologize for loving someone, because you can never love someone too much, but when they don’t return the love, it doesn’t feel good. It’s the lack of love that hurts, not the love you have for them.

For more articles about love and relationships please visit Some Piece of Mind. Some Piece of Mind is a collaborative site dedicated to healing our relationships through communication.

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Planning A Wedding - Information & Advice

Thursday, August 5th, 2010

There are some careful considerations that need to be thought over before planning a big event, such as a wedding. Although planning a wedding can be exhilarating and lots of fun, it is never easy and can turn into a very stressful time. Listed below are some of the things you will need to consider very carefully.

Place And Time - The first things that any wedding planner needs to determine is the location of the wedding and the time it will take place. Wedding venues can range from the city to the country and from outdoors to indoors. For outdoor weddings, choices can range from a breezy beachside ceremony to a cozy garden event. If you decide to have the wedding indoors, the next step is to decide whether to have a conventional church wedding or one in a hotel venue. The choice is ultimately yours; however, consider the ability for guests to easily arrive at the location. Once the place is decided, the time of the ceremony should be chosen. Do you want a wedding in the evening, afternoon, or morning? Again, consider the ability for most of your guests to attend at the time you chose. If these factors are not considered, the attending guests could be few and far between.

Decor And Design - Decorations are an integral part of any wedding, regardless of the location chosen. However, make sure the décor coordinates with the scenery. Flowers are typically the first decorating concern. Make sure the florist uses fresh flowers that will remain vibrant throughout the occasion. A few of the most popular flower selections are roses, tulips, daisies, and calla lilies. If you are having a church wedding, the options are limited for decoration, but consider trimming the pews or chairs with bows, ribbons, and tulle. If the venue is relatively minimal, consider integrating a wedding arch. It has great symbolic meaning for the union of two people and always makes a great backdrop for photographs after the ceremony.

Guests And Invitations - You will want to share your joy on your special day with all your family and friends, and you will want all your guests to have a lovely time. If you plan on feeding your guests, be sure that the menu is well-planned. Double count your guest list to ensure that you have provided enough food for everyone who is attending. If you like, you can ask your guests while the menu is still in the planning stage if they have any special dietary restrictions that would keep them from enjoying themselves. Plan your invitations so that they are in keeping with your decorations of the theme of your wedding.

These are a few of the basic elements of a good wedding. Remember, do not rush and be sure to make your decisions carefully. This is your special day, so enjoy all of the facets, including the planning, and everything else will fall into place.

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The Fact About Marriage And Relationship Advice And Why You Should Be Skeptical

Monday, July 12th, 2010

Any couples counselor will inform you that not all marriages or relationships are salvageable-despite my best efforts (and my pro-marriage and pro-commitment attitudes), a variety of the couples I’ve counseled will still make the painful determination to finish their marriage or relationship.

A tragic reality is that there will at all times be a proportion of marriages that fail-regardless of the couple’s greatest efforts to make it work. I feel we all know this at some stage, but we still believe that someway our love is so distinctive and transcendent that our relationship will be the one which prevails, no matter what.

Beware of unrealistic marriage and relationship guarantees

I’ve seen a troubling on-line trend on the topic of marriage recommendation and relationship help products: Messages that supply unrealistic guarantees and assurances that any marriage or relationship may be saved, no matter how bad things are between you (and, not surprisingly, these messages are usually related to the sale of some service or product).

I not too long ago coached a lady who went through a very painful divorce and said that she felt like a “double failure” as a consequence of she used an over-hyped relationship product (I don’t know the product). Regardless of my consumer’s finest efforts, her marriage nonetheless ended-her husband had already made up his thoughts and checked out of the marriage.

So this already susceptible, hurting woman thought there have to be one thing unsuitable along with her — after all, the claims touted by the vendor of this product included a excessive success price and several blatant guarantees (even in dire circumstances) and subsequently appeared good for her situation.

Can a troubled marriage or relationship be saved?

Completely-I’ve seen this firsthand as a psychologist and relationship coach. Should a pair give it their all and, when needed, search skilled assist before giving up on their union? I certainly would, and I encourage others to do so.

However, some marriages and relationships will not make it (divorce statistics and the speed of failed relationships assist this claim) and you have to be cautious of any online messages that make outlandish guarantees, especially messages claiming to have the ability to save your marriage/relationship for positive, even when the connection has been drowning in hopelessness for years and one or both of you’re prepared to move on and build a new life.

Be cautious of marriage and relationship advice ensures

Commitment and effort are important to a profitable relationship-but even these necessary components don’t provide a assure (according to dictionary.com: a assure assures a selected outcome).

When somebody offers a assure for his or her product/service, it usually:

1. Displays the individual’s own confidence in the quality of his/her product/service;
2. Is used as a gross sales system to increase your motivation to buy the product/service.

Neither one in each of these are inherently bad. Gross sales hype doesn’t suggest someone’s product or service is not useful-it’d actually assist you. However you need to understand that the use and effectiveness of a marriage/relationship service or product will all the time involve a leap of faith on your part.

Here is my professional opinion about on-line marriage recommendation and relationship help products. They:

~may work;
~might even work very well;
~may not make a lot of a difference;
~is perhaps a complete waste of time.

But the fact is, you most likely wouldn’t purchase anything if somebody’s website and sales pitch read one thing like:

“Strive my new marriage overhaul system. I think it is nice (and my aunt beloved it)-I hope you do too. It may really help your marriage…however then once more, if I am being totally honest, I am unable to be certain of that, since each relationship is unique. However what the heck, give it a try anyway-I am going to maintain my fingers crossed!”

What does this mean for you and your relationship?

Approach marriage advice and relationship assist providers/merchandise with an open thoughts: balance wholesome skepticism with hopefulness and realism. Take a while to seek out out about the credentials and experience of the particular person promoting a service or product-and if anyone is making overly-hyped claims or promising iron-clad outcomes, my advice: turn and run.

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Love Story From Car Accident

Saturday, July 3rd, 2010

Somewhere in London I was parked in front of the traffic light before a car smashed my brand new volvo C30 from behind. After the crash first few seconds was like a blur as I had no clue what was going on and if I was badly injured or not. After few seconds I heart a soft woman’s voice next to my window. I was very angry but as soon as I saw the woman apologising to me my anger just calmed down but I did start feeling horrible pain at the back of my neck. I couldn’t move my neck properly but I wasn’t badly hurt.

She was wearing a red dress, looked like a model from Kellogg’s cornflakes. She was terrified and she was about to burst into tears. My family always told me new cars normally bring you bad luck and at that time I was thinking they are probably right. But when she stood next to me in that red dress and looked at me with innocent eyes I just thought to myself how beautiful she is.

As I couldn’t move my neck properly, I was taken to the hospital in an ambulance and the funny thing is she came to visit me within few minutes of me reaching the hospital. She has got to be sweet and caring and single right? If she came to see me straight after. Then we spent few hours chatting in the waiting area. I am sure all of you know how long you have to wait in the hospital before you get seen (sighs) NHS eh. We share stories and jokes, on how we bought the cars and now her car is a wreck as he bonnet has completely been smashed out. In the car reviews she read that her car bonnet’s is as powerful as a pick up trust and now she knows the review is not always right. We swapped numbers and wanted to see eachother again and yes she was single.

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Love, Distance And Lack Of Communication

Monday, June 14th, 2010

Lack of communication is a very sad problem that impedes your relationship with the person you love. It can be due to geographical distance, or due to the impossibility of any kind of relationship between this person and you, because they are too different from you, they belong to another social level, they are engaged to someone else, or it may be provoked by other obstacles that only you know. In any case, this distance is a serious complication in your life…

You have to be cautious and instead of imagining things, try to learn everything you can about the special person. Don’t assume that you can guess what they think and what they want based on your observations, because you may be totally wrong.

If you are in love with someone that is having a relationship with someone else, but you believe that they like you, be very careful!

You had better stay far from people that are already involved with someone else for many reasons, especially because you are going to suffer and feel too insecure in a relationship with them, if it really does happen in the end. You may desire to have this relationship with them and they may desire it too, but nothing may happen in the end, because they won’t separate from their partner to stay with you, or even worse, they may want to make you accept being a lover, and at the same time keep their old relationship!

Never steal someone from somebody else, because the same will happen to you too, in the future. You receive in life everything that you give to others. If you betray someone, you will be betrayed too. This is a physical law that has been observed by many people for many years, in all civilizations and historical times, but most people don’t want to believe in it.

If the distance between you and the person you love is due to other factors, besides the existence of somebody else, and you believe that a relationship between you two would be good for you, you have to make a plan in order to be able to enter into contact with them.

Don’t simply wait for a good opportunity, without trying to do something practical that would help you both have direct contact, because the ideal opportunity may never appear…

First of all, try to learn everything you can about them, so that you won’t be based in your imagination, but you’ll really know who they are. Then, make a plan that will help you approach them.

You’ll be helped and guided by the interpretation of your dreams if you write them down and you translate them according to the scientific method, because the unconscious mind that produces your dreams is a genius, and it will show you everything you want to learn about the person you love.

Be intelligent and use everything you have at your disposal in order to have a clear image of the situation you are in, because this is a delicate situation and you can be hurt if you are imagining things that are not real.

On the other hand, you have to learn how to be smart and develop your intelligence, so that you may be successful in life, instead of making plans based on your ignorance. The interpretation of your own dreams will give you all the answers you need to help you evolve. This way, you’ll have the constant guidance of the unconscious mind showing you the truth in your dreams, and helping you decide what to do in all cases.

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I Lost Love

Friday, April 9th, 2010

Are you still holding a candle for your ex, telling your friends and family ‘I Lost Love’? If that sounds like you then there might still be hope to get your relationship back. There are some things anyone can do to make an ex fall madly in love with you all over again. You really can rekindle that old flame if you are prepared to work hard.

The first thing you need to think about is what might have gone wrong. Stop worrying about telling people ‘I lost love’ and think about what positive steps you can take instead. When you can identify what you think went wrong in the relationship, you’re in a good position to begin working on tactics to rectify it and then put some things in place to get your relationship back.

All relationships begin filled with excitement and adrenaline. You both want to please the other person, so you make a big effort to look good and say the right things. You both enjoy each others company, because you’re both trying really hard to be enjoyable.

At this point most relationships move into a comfortable phase, where you both feel a little more relaxed. This is the phase where many relationships break up and it can take anywhere from a month to a year to reach this point, and even longer with other people.

Unfortunately, some ladies misread the signals from their man. They think his comfortable phase means he’s pulling away. Most women’s first instinct is to try hard to bring him closer again. The usual tactic they try is to cling tighter to him, wanting to see him more often and wanting him to reassure her that he’s not leaving.

The reality is men view these tactics as desperation and neediness, which makes them pull away. When their fun-loving, happy girlfriends begin these frantic efforts to cling to them, men feel as though they’ve lost the girl they fell in love with. Instead, they have a stranger who is making him feel as though he can’t do anything right. This is the main reason why men begin to pull away from their girlfriends.

By taking a bit of time out after a break up and working on finding your own confidence again means that you’ll realize you have the power to make yourself happy. You can pursue interests that please you or hang out with friends who make you feel good. These activities should also help you to realize that you don’t need your ex to make you feel happy. You can do that yourself.

With your new self-confidence and positive attitude, you’re in a much better position to call your ex and suggest getting together for a friendly chat over a cup of coffee. Let him see that you’ve found that happy, confident girl he fell in love with and his feelings will come rushing back. Remember, in the beginning of your relationship, it was the happy, easy going version of you that he fell in love with.

No relationship is perfect and of course you’ll have moments where things aren’t so perfect, but by making sure you both enjoy the time you spend with each other, you’ll be less likely to be telling people ‘I lost love’ and more likely to tell people ‘I found the love of my life’.

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Finding The Right Life Partner

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

If you’re single you must be looking for a life partner. A life accomplice makes your life complete. Everyone wants a accomplice for him or her, who can share each second of your life, divides your sorrows and multiplies your joys. However, how do you choose the correct associate for you? Here are some guidelines.

You need to have heard many younger girls saying that they need a tall, handsome and rich husband. Or, there are young males who dream of a very good trying spouse for them. Sure, seems does matter but no more than the character of a person. When you are contemplating a long term relationship you’d need a compassionate partner who would understand you and respect your feelings. Seems to be could also be deceptive, so don’t make it an important standards for your partner. The financial institution balance of a person is also important. However, you don’t want a stinking wealthy individual to make you happy.

Another issue which you must search for in an individual is honesty. An honest accomplice would never cheat on his spouse or husband. Love isn’t enough to make your bond a robust one. Belief and faith are also needed between two individuals to maintain them bonded together for your entire life. Subsequently, your accomplice should have faith on you and trust you. Only then are you able to two have a beautiful life ahead.

Opposites attract and this is very true. However, the differences between you and your partner shouldn’t be a lot that you simply find downside adjusting with hi or her ways. Minimum amount of variations between two individuals might be compromised but when the variations turn out to be large, they will even damage your relationship.

After you are ready with what you need in your partner it is time for some action. For choosing the right accomplice you should go and be part of some social groups. You can go in social gatherings or parties where you will discover the associate you want. On-line relationship can be a superb idea. Actually, a lot of the marriages within the current day world occur after the two individuals date online. You might meet your perfect somebody in any of the chat rooms, you by no means know. This is, in fact, one of many easiest methods of discovering your partner. You possibly can chat with many person at one time and get to find out about them. Now, it is as much as you to determine whom you want most and whom you want to ignore.

Nonetheless, web chatting just isn’t very trustworthy for choosing the proper partner. If you are fortunate you will get a real particular person on the opposite facet of the computer. However, normally the individuals are extra interested by passing their time than participating themselves in critical chatting. So, watch out whereas selecting your life partner. Keep in mind, that is crucial resolution of your life.

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