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Family crisis is first of all crisis of communication. More than 80 % of the married couples addressing for the psychological help, complain of complexities in communication among themselves. Whereas problems with children and their education, sexual or financial complexities are at the bottom of family crisis only in 40 % of cases.

Search for the compromise.

If between spouses there is close relations, if they love each other, respect, appreciate, listen to opinion of one another, in this case any conflict is only a part of their joint aspiration to mutual understanding.

The first factor.

It is known that birth of the child on purpose to save marriage doesn’t promote durability of relations, and, on the contrary, more likely accelerates its disintegration. However, children nevertheless are capable to make relations stronger – being busy with problems of children, spouses can forget about own conflicts for some time, conclude a truce. But, when children grow, become independent, parents again remain in private with the contradictions, practically having forgot how to communicate with each other correctly. Unfortunately, there are cases when in family being on the verge of divorce, the child suddenly starts to be ill more often or there are constant troubles with him. Thus he/she unconsciously “protests” against disintegration of marriage of mum and the daddy, drawing to itself attention of parents. It is, according to opinion of psychologists, too high price of exit of family from crisis. It happens that having learnt that they soon should become parents, the spouses who are on the verge of rupture, decide that is it one more chance to make the relations better. And it is quite possible for many couples.

The second factor.

Among risk factors for home life psychologists name also early marriages. Them consider as fragile because young spouses should solve too many problems: household, professional, material. And to marriages between the people, who are already mature enough and have stable life, psychologists designate long existence. However, to person, who led bachelor way of life for a long time, maybe, it is even more difficult to change the habitual way of life, to adapt under someone another. And, on the contrary, adaptation to vital changes and mutual understanding with the partner passes in early marriages easier thanks to the psychological flexibility peculiar to young people.

The third factor.

The majority considers that the family compelled to overcome difficulties constantly, breaks more often, without maintaining burden. But for some people the reason of family crises is monotony, boredom, whereas difficulties only pull together spouses. Stability and regularity of life provoke crisis.

If you have big desire to save your marriage, you will exactly manage to make it, because positive thought and some efforts will help you to solve all your problems.

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If you try to get your ex back, you should start from yourself and to get back your self-appraisal at first. There are very useful tips, how you can make it.

The first rule. Dear parents! Remember: if endlessly to repeat to the child that he knows nothing, he can do nothing, it is quite possible that once your child will really believe in it, and then he will exactly have problems with a self-appraisal. In any case you should criticize offence, instead of the person: the child always should know that you love him such as he is. It was just a little advice for you about correct behavior with children to avoid problems in future!

The second rule. Forget about how hardly you wish to increase the self-feeling. Too strong desire frequently becomes an obstacle in a way to the realization. Simply live and believe that you will achieve everything what you want.

The third rule. If you have decided to make something, make it in the nearest future. Than longer you will prepare to begin, possible difficulties seem especially insuperable.

The forth rule. Every day learn something new, do what you have never did earlier.

The fifth rule. If something is not clear to you – do not be afraid to ask a question to the interlocutor. It just is often reflected in your self-feeling, negatively or positively, you should decide yourself. It is better to seem the silly once, than to make the same mistake over and over again.

The sixth rule. Hair dress and clothes updating will help to increase a self-feeling.
Go to the gym or at least get a habit to do morning gymnastics. The strong, trained, free body in the movements wonderfully influences spirit living in this body.

And you can also make in the house general cleaning. Such trifle also means much for self-estimation increase.

The seventh rule. Try not to show your importance very much. The internal self-trust does not require “loud” external displays. The self-estimation is only an indicator of how you evaluate the forces for achievement of this or that purpose. People surrounding you will evaluate this your quality without your obvious hints.

The eighth rule. You should be more optimistic.

The ninth rule. The eternal discontent with yourself is similar to masochism, and in any way does not promote self-estimation increase. Abuse less and more often praise yourself! Remember the successes, even the most insignificant; it is possible even to write down them in the special journal.

The tenth rule. Stop to compare yourself to others, it doesn’t help to self-estimation increase. Compare yourself only with yourself.

The eleventh rule. Never justify. If there is such need, explain the act with a quiet and confident voice.
The twelfth rule. Forget about fear. Imagine that it happened something of what you were afraid so much. In advance think over variants, how you will behave. Remember that in self-estimation formation of any experience is useful, even negative.

The thirteenth rule. Allow yourself to be imperfect. Even if you do something not very good – nobody has the right to expect, that you always were faultless in every respect.

The fourteenth rule. Participate in the charity. The help to other people is the best vitamin for growth of a self-estimation.

Don’t be afraid of difficulties and you will learn to solve your problems. When you learn how to love yourself, you will be able to get your ex back easily.

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Remember, that a situation with how to get your ex back question is not the end of everything. You simply need to know where exactly to find the answer and what to do about it.

Behavior in conflict situations. Conflicts happen very different and it is impossible to choose unique true algorithm of behavior. We always appear in a new situation, when still it is not known what it is necessary to tell and make, what trick to apply. But we are ready to offer a number of recommendations, which will help you with any conflict situation.

1. Be emotionally sustained. Superfluous emotions will prevent quiet conversation of two partners. Furthermore, if are angry, the same condition will pass and to your interlocutor by a principle of emotional infection. In this case, you should already face with a stream of negative emotions.

2. Dispute should be depersonalized: do not aspire to convict the interlocutor, speak with detachment toward your partner. Most likely, you do not like some act of the opponent, instead of him as the person. But even if the person is not pleasant to you, do not hasten to inform him about it – he can use the same reception and then you will find out how much you are also bad from his point of view.

3. All decisions, which are accepted by you during the conflict and after it, should be weighed and considered. It is impossible to follow the emotions as usually they prompt incorrect, often provocative actions, which can aggravate the conflict and spoil relations with the opponent. To avoid it, we would like to offer the following algorithm of behavior:

- Find out a position of the partner in a concrete question and inform him your point of view. Do not be afraid to recognize correctness of the interlocutor in those moments, where he is really right. Indicate errors as much as possible correctly, showing thus your interest in their removal. Also recognize own wrongfulness in the certain moments, presenting it as your readiness for combined action under the permission of all points at issue.

- Compare behavior in conflict situations with position and find things in common. The general basis is necessary for the future joint resolution. If you and your partner can come to the agreement at least on one item, it means, it will be easier to you to agree with one another further.

- Develop alternative decisions of problems, where will be made offers from both sides. You should offer the decisions in the form of a wish, instead of the instruction.

- Compare alternatives and choose the best, considering interests of each side.

- Necessarily agree about the decision discharge, it is better even in concrete terms that anybody could not avoid it in future.

4. Use the rule of active perception of the information: attentively listen, support any statements of the opponent with a head nod, support easy visual contact, try to paraphrase any thought of the interlocutor. All these actions will help you to show your interest in the solving of conflict, respect for the interlocutor and his words. Probably, between you there will be a certain liking, which will promote a mutual understanding establishment.

Conflicts – an integral part of our life. We need to learn to solve them, to save benevolent relations with people and to protect own health, both physical, and mental.

It is almost impossible to escape the cases when you face the how to get your ex back situation. The biggest mistake here is that people think too seriously about how to get your ex back, instead of putting this whole story in another way. This is not about how to get your ex back, really. This is about how to make it exciting again.

All people are different! Someone can easily present himself (herself) from the bright side, others at all can’t imagine, how to make it…

Here there is a fellow, outwardly is nothing remarkable, and will come up to you, will start talking, and it is so simple and easy with him, it is not necessary to puzzle in search of themes for dialogue. And other man is handsome, stately, and on the face – except of a silly smile in a combination with horror - you will notice nothing. Also it is visible that silence is burdensome to him, and he wants to say something but cannot. He just does not know, how to present himself. Such person hesitates, hardly selects words or jokes inattentively. Probably, it happens because of excitement. Probably, something or someone disturbs such person, or, for example, he is afraid not to justify someone’s hopes. Such fears are normal. Excitement in an unfamiliar situation, with new people is the adequate behavior, somewhat allowing to keep in a tone a body and thoughts, desire to be pleasant can induce on fulfillment of good acts, on rendering of signs on attention. It is good.

Many people who have already built certain stable mutual relations, subsequently with a kind smile upon the face recollect such periods of the life when adrenaline drove blood, and heart jumped out from a body.

But happens so that the fear of dialogue does the person closed in himself, prevents to live, to open, trust, to get new acquaintances and to build relations. And then, whatever he is, he cannot present herself (himself) all the same properly. It is necessary to learn to overcome such fear in yourself, working over yourself and eliminating the occurrence reasons.

It is initially necessary to understand, what exactly prevents to you to behave how it would be desirable, what keeps to live so that to feel yourself comfortably in this world and to start to act. It is necessary to open by degrees, present yourself to people without being afraid that you will be condemned or will be ridiculed.

Realize that doing nothing, avoiding dialogue with people, you will achieve nothing. The best method to get rid for fear is to look at it. It is necessary to learn to present yourself on the personal experience, let sometimes on the errors. Nobody promises that everything will go smoothly at once.

Do not overestimate estimation to the interlocutor, underestimating thus the own one. The first and most important rule that forming of relations with people brought to you only pleasure and were successful – love yourself! After all only so you can develop reliance of own forces, and without special work can present yourself at good level. Love yourself with dirty hair, with the broken heel and a bruise under the right eye! Love yourself and other people will also be kind to you!

When you learn to present yourself correctly – it will be much easier for you to solve your problems with the partner, to build strong relations with your spouse.

It is almost impossible to dodge the cases when you face the how to get your ex back situation. The biggest mistake here is that people think too seriously about how to get your ex back, instead of putting this whole situation in another way. It is not about how to get your ex back, really. This is about how to make it interesting again.

Perhaps, at all times the self-trust was a synonym of success, lead, completeness of life. Our century is not an exception.

What is the self-trust? What is the self-assured person like?

First of all, such person always highly appreciates the possibilities. He considers that own forces are enough for fulfillment of practically any problem set to himself. The self-assured person always openly speaks about the feelings, desires and requests, is able to refuse, is capable to come into contacts, to begin and finish conversation. He is not afraid to put before himself the new purposes and with enthusiasm undertakes their fulfillment.

And what is about the diffident person? In relations with associates such people fear (or simply are not able) to express the opinion, to speak about the desires and requirements. In long run, they cease not only operate actively on achievement of the purposes, but also cease to put before themselves in general any purposes, losing a self-confidence and a reality of realization of own intentions.

It is possible to leave from a situation in which you feel uncertainly, but it is not necessary to abuse with this method. After all, anyhow, each of us originally tests a certain uncertainty when on coincidence of circumstances he appears face to face with an unfamiliar situation. It is absolutely normal, and it is not necessary to speak about insufficient uncertainty here.

But if the alarm and constraint accompanies you all life, in conditions even most habitual for you, even at dialogue with well familiar people, it is not normal. Well, in this case it makes sense to try to increase a self-trust.

By the way, it happens that the person feels uncertainty only periodically. For example, when he appears in awkward position or it is necessary to communicate with any people inspiring to the person that uncertainty. What should you do? Immediately you think about the simple decision –to avoid meetings with this circle of people, to try not to get to those conditions, which somehow can affect self-trust level.

However, I would not advise to abuse with this method: it is possible without ceremony to get used to aspire all life to avoid difficult situations. But it is impossible to live like this. Uneasy situations of communication, anyhow, will always arise on a course of life, that will obviously not promote self-trust increase.

Live with an instant. In each separately taken instant is the real life, where there is no place to fear, to alarm, anxiety or a regret, after all the occasion to them already remained in the past or with any degree of probability will arise in the uncertain future. You should enjoy a life here and now.

Seldom who feels uncertainty, communicating in habitual conditions with close people or being engaged in well familiar business. Psychologists name it a comfort zone. Expanding the circle of contacts, running in new business – let even for the sake of it is necessary to break a certain psychological barrier – we expand borders of own zone of comfort and, thereby, we become more confident. Self-confidence will help you to get what you want in this life and to love and be loved.

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Remember, that a situation with how to get your ex back question is not the end of everything. You just need to know where exactly to find the answer and what to do about it.

If infidelity has occurred into your family life, and you already feel that you are lost and suppressed, you already have to the full tested what is treachery of infidelity, it is not necessary to go at once on the conflict and to get divorced. Think, if he hid the infidelity and if hid this side of his life, means, he tried to save up your feelings, and he is afraid to lose you. Analyze your life, what kind of the husband he is and what kind of the father he is, probably there is your fault in his infidelity, if he is good husband and the father, and if you love him, probably it is possible to forgive his infidelity, but it is necessary to take measures that this situation was the last.

1. Talk to the husband. You should talk without shouts, scandals, without finding-out of relations. Yes it will be difficult for you, but also it will not be easy for him. Find out, why he has gone on it, what connects him with mistress, and also is he ready to break off those relations? If the man hid change, means, most likely, he wishes to save a family. In the end of this conversation set to him a main condition - he should never meet that woman anymore. Force to erase her number from phone and at once inform that you will supervise this point in question.

2. Find things in common, find common interests, depart to holiday or a trip, arrange a family holiday.

3. Stop to complain to him of the hard life, try to listen to him.

4. Take care of your house, the husband after work will aspire there where it is warm, light, beautiful and tasty, therefore the tasty supper, beautiful table layout and pleasant atmosphere in the house should become a norm.

5. Imagine yourself as his mistress, take care of the own life, smile more often, purchase trifles and things, which will make you better and then also his relation to you will change, also he will indulge you with gifts and surprises.

What should you do after the infidelity of the husband? How is to get out of all it?

Probably, it is necessary to understand accurately, whether this person is necessary to you, whether you can live further together with him under one roof, sleep in one bed. Only fairly admitting to yourself this question, it is possible to build the plan of the further life with such person. Let’s say, you have decided to stay with him, then you should follow some moments accurately:

- Never remind him of his infidelity. Behave so that to cause in him desire to be only with you. For this purpose take care of yourself. I do not speak about standards 90-60-90, but elementary things, such as gymnastics, the jog, a healthy food etc. should be present at your life (if you respect yourself).

- Smile more often. Do not complain to him on trifles. At first he will understand you, and then at an opportunity also will behave like this, believe to me so that it is better not to tell him about different ridiculous misunderstanding.

- Praise him more often. Always be in good mood. Yes, it is hard sometimes, but it is possible. And the main thing, love and respect yourself. Men love such women. And if you will feel that he varies again, change something into yourself. The main thing, it is not necessary to be afraid of changes in a life. Good luck to you!

Do you need as answer to the “how to get your ex back” question? Please visit the site of this ex back system that has helped many people to get out of the how to get your ex back story.

Remember, that a situation with how to get your ex back question is not the end of everything. You just need to know how and where to find the answer and what to do about it.