Relationship Advice Online

The main error of girls - they wish to receive everything in one partner and as faster as it is possible!

The man has rather special point of view at relations with the woman: at first she should be good lover, then, probably, the friend. Then, when he will understand that she is good both as the lover, and as the friend - the wife, mother of children.

And the man enters relations to receive the lover, to take pleasure, and only pleasure. As soon as he begins to feel difficulties into relations, the man finds other love partner, and former relations he gradually brings to nothing.

And now let’s discuss the woman’s point of view at relations.

At once - the husband, the father of children! Simply she appoints him in husbands, without having looked into his eyes! Many girls appoint their partners in husbands on the first sight at them, without having heard even their voice.

And here infinite thoughts begin, analysis of each his sigh, demonstration of the better qualities, offer expectation - and as consequence, neurosis, pathological dependence, and dependence not from concrete partner, and from desire to get married and to give birth to the child.

Therefore it is necessary to change your mind, to insert other program. Instinct of continuation of the family is very strong, but we are not animals and we should control our instincts!

It is necessary to tell to yourself: three in one partner happens very seldom, you can meet such man in 50 years, and probably can not meet at all.

Therefore, to be happy, I will divide: the man, as the lover, the man as the friend, and the man, as the father of children.

Remember seven rules of happy family and try to follow them into your family relations:

- Your relations are the most important for you.

- Your relations are built on freedom; everyone does what he/she wants.

- You should try to be interesting to each other - you do not spoil mood to each other even in the trouble.

- You shouldn’t say lies to each other.

- You shouldn’t betray each other.

- You are always man and woman for each other; try to be always beautiful for each other.

These rules are voluntary for family; each of you should order them to himself (herself). After all you have the same situation in friendship: friends don’t swear, don’t agree, don’t sign the contract that their relations is friendship from tomorrow. Friends mean that there are certain rules of friendship. You will break them and friendship will also be broken.

You also should behave like this into your family relations - discuss your relations, argue, but everyone should order rules to himself (herself).

And at quarrels remind each other that your relations suffer from quarrel – and then reconcile quickly. After all, your relations are the most important for you!

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Each of partners develops into yourself the internal estimated center. Value or meaning of everything, what you endure on experience, is defined not by what your partner speaks, not judgments of your parents, not the rules of your church, not imparted at school sights, but only by one sensation, arising at the deepest levels of yours being. For example, all these external influences, can drive to that available situation with your matrimonial sex is correct, lawful and natural and only proves love. You know everything of it. And nevertheless you can know, in the most secluded corners of yours being, also that actually this manipulation of one partner by another, that it is only pretence, the deceit, which does not have any relation to true love. So far as you have internal center of estimation, you rely on such judgments and they cause your further behavior. Thereby also it is supposed that you are not operated with those “it is necessary” and “it is impossible”, which our culture in all its aspects with such readiness substitutes instead of the values, which have been found out by you and for you.

When the person develops in all directions described by me, becoming independent and unique, then the person represents the worthy partner — not the slave and not the slaveholder, not shade and not echo, not always the chief and not always the subordinate, not self-confident person and indisputable not boring partner.

Development of both partners should be equal.

And at last, the efforts directed on awakening of original own “I”, so justify themselves that almost inevitably you will persuade and encourage the partner to follow to your example and to rejoice to each step made by him. So it is pleasant to develop together, to live with two unique and weaved lives!

I should add that in case, when this development of the independent person occurs only to one of partners, it is not encouraged and it is not cultivated in other partner, then the increasing distance between partners can become insuperable and the mutual relations sliding directly in precipice, can rescue only miracle. You should remember this and try to develop with your partner with the same speed.

Classes with young people, who are going to get married, in the conditions to have frank and sincere dialogue, is one of the important ways to help people to build stronger mutual relations.
The increasing popularity receives courses for married couples. These courses can bring considerable advantage to many spouses, but in case of deep dissonance and bad compatibility of spouses it can provoke their distance from each other or divorce. However, for the overwhelming majority it will promote only to interpersonal dialogue, to readiness to speak about difficulties openly and to solve them, to the best comprehension of weak and strong sides.

If you really want to have strong relations, you should always support and understand each other. Good luck!

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If you have started to live together… So, you have decided to live together. The main thing – instead of word “I” has appeared word “We” now. And here it occurs that both of you are absolutely not ready to this …

According to psychologists, 99 % of couples make absolutely same error in the first days and months of joint life. And receive, accordingly, the same result. How is to bypass these reefs of initial stage of joint life?

Don’t hope that it will be possible to avoid complexities. Alas, nobody can this. To date and to live together are different categories of relations. It is impossible to foresee in advance what kind of man will be in life, even if he is ideal on date. Any couple should pass fitting-in stage, even in that case, when it seems to you that you perfectly know and passionately love each other.

Don’t expect that everything will be as you imagined to yourself.

Two adult persons, decided to live together, come with the own way of life and representations how and when to make something correctly.

Concern your new life as the researcher: observe and do conclusions. Already in couple of months you learn reactions of each other better and define under what scenario will be built your relations.

Learn to talk about problems.

If you feel uncertainly or something torments you – tell about it. Don’t doubt – your partner has own complete set of the most different serious both ridiculous fears, and some of them you are able to dispel.

The silliest that it is possible to make here – to finish thinking for him and to think out explanations to his acts.

Don’t forget about distance.

Whatever was your love, remember the main thing: discuss the general, but save the personal. Each of you still has antecedent, job, friends, hobbies and habits. Also it doesn’t mean at all that saving them, you deceit the partner! It means that you just save yourself as the personality.

Remember responsibility.

Joint life is not so simple relations, but also very responsible – for each other, for the future children, for the house. So, in any conflict situations it is always necessary to remember not only about yourself.

Don’t try to alter each other.

It is impossible to alter the adult person. It is axiom. The result is always pitiable. Certainly, there are no people without lacks. But the ideal person for joint life is the person with lacks, which you can accept.

Decide financial problems together.

Economic independence and common budget is very important into joint life! You should discuss at once, if you are going to have common or separate budget, not to have problems with this in future.

Agree about life.

Certainly, you will not agree about everything in advance, but it is necessary to discuss principle questions.

Discuss problem of children.

Starting to live together, find out, whether you plan to have the child, if yes, how fast. Also what you will do in the case of not planned pregnancy.

Love each other and solve your problems together.

It is almost impossible to escape the cases when you face the how to get your ex back situation. The biggest problem here is that people think too strong about how to get your ex back, instead of putting this whole story in another way. This is not about how to get your ex back, really. This is about how to make it exciting again.

For certain everybody knows about crises, which spouses will have after 7,12, etc. years of joint life. Alas, but the first and much more dangerous problems wait for two people much earlier.

The first crisis – 6 weeks.

Psychologists name this period as time when pink glasses break, and the fantastic prince suddenly turns to swineherd. And at this stage sometimes enough any trifle to spoil the relations. It depends on you if you avoid this crisis or not. But if there is a great difference between the illusion drawn by you and the validity, you will exactly have this crisis.

The second crisis – 8 months.

In ideal, connection at this stage develops into strong, serious relations. Nevertheless at this stage many couples break up, because it occurs that they can’t live together. Problems at job, bad mood, rainy days off, dirty hair, belly-ache and boring family holidays… You are bored with this routine. There is rather great danger that one of you, having been frightened of this routine, will decide to break relations.

The third crisis – 2,5 years.

Development of hormones of happiness and pleasure begins to decline (so is arranged the human nature). Accordingly, the sexual attraction weakens. It is the good chance to save insults. But the first serious cooling in relations at all doesn’t mean that you should separate with each other.

That hormonal explosion has happened again, it is necessary to fall in love with each other again! For this purpose it is necessary to learn to hold distance. Different friends, affairs, hobbies, days off spent separately –all these will help to become closer again. It is paradoxical, but true!

Psychologists like to compare joint life to ball dance for which are necessary two people. How much it will be sensual and graceful and how long it will last – depends not only on movements of everyone, but also from your general readiness to move harmoniously. And if the life together seems better, more brightly and interesting, it is necessary to find correct decisions and to solve your family problems together!

Marriage can bring you a lot of pleasure and happiness if you know how to behave with each other. It is necessary to develop your relations, to make them better always. Relations don’t like passive people, both of you should be active if you really want to have happy family and strong relations. Flower can’t live without water and your relations can’t live without your love and understanding. Love each other, respect and understand your second half. It is the main recipe for happy marriage! Your feelings are the most strong and important basis for your marriage and if you have strong love between you – you will have good life!

Are you looking for as answer to the “how to get your ex back” question? Please visit the web site of this ex back system that has helped many people to get out of the how to get your ex back problems.

Remember, that a situation with how to get your ex back question is not the end of everything. You just need to know where exactly to find the answer and what to do about it.

According to researches of sociologists and the family advisers, each family passes some stages of development, and transition from one to another, as a rule, is accompanied by crisis. It is considered to be that in complications in home life first of all result household difficulties. But, except life, there are many reasons, capable to provoke crisis in family, at any stage of its existence. First, problems in home life can begin, when one of spouses endures own psychological crisis, for example, middle age crisis. Reconsidering the life, feeling dissatisfaction with own personality, the person decides to change everything, including the home life. Secondly, any of the events listed further brings changes in family life. For example, birth of the child, and also such vital stages, as going of the child to school, transitional age of the child, leaving from parental family. Besides, there are some others reasons, which become the reason of crisis for spouses: complexities at job, problems in mutual relations with relatives, financial situation, moving of family to other city or country. And, of course, there can be more serious stress-factors as serious illnesses, death, wars, and job loss, birth of defective children.

There are eight dangerous symptoms:

- Decreases attraction of spouses to intimate affinity;

- Spouses don’t aspire to be pleasant any more for each other;

- All questions, connected with education of children, provoke quarrels and mutual reproaches;

- Spouses haven’t identical opinion concerning the majority of significant questions for them (relations with native and friends, plans for the future, distribution of incomes of family and other);

- Husband and wife badly understand (or don’t understand at all) feeling of each other;

- Almost all acts and words of the partner call irritation;

- One of spouses considers that is compelled to concede all time to desires and opinion of another.

- There is no necessity to share the problems and pleasures with the partner.

Don’t be angry at each other!

Psychologists conditionally allocate some of the most explosive age of family. According to statistics, about half of all marriages breaks up after the first year of joint life. Newly made spouses don’t pass test of family life. Disagreements can concern distributions of duties, unwillingness of partners to change the habits.

The following critical age for family - the first 3-5 years of marriage. At this time more often in family are born children, and spouses are anxious by arrangement of separate house and the professional problems, career growth. Physical both nervous tension call alienation and misunderstanding between spouses. During this period romantic love regenerates in matrimonial friendship - spouses now colleagues, instead of ardent enamored.
In 7-9 years of joint life there can come the next crisis connected with such phenomenon, as accustoming. The life was more or less stabilized; children have grown up. Quite often spouses feel disappointment. They compare reality to what it was represented some years ago in dreams. It seems that now all life will be monotony, it would be desirable something new, unusual, fresh sensations.

Passes time, and if the husband and the wife are still together, in 16-20 years of marriage is possible one more everyday reef. It is aggravated with crisis of middle age of one of spouses.
During this period sociologists name one more crisis period in family life: when adult children leave the house. Spouses lose the main activity – bringing up of children. They should learn to live together again.

It is almost impossible to dodge the cases when you have to face the how to get your ex back situation. The biggest problem here is that people think too seriously about how to get your ex back, instead of putting this whole story in another way. This is not about how to get your ex back, really. This is about how to make it exciting again.