Relocating the kids after a divorce
Florida is a transient state. Many parent’s extended family and familial support is in another state. During a time of crisis, such as the breakup of the marriage, it is natural, expected and beneficial to reach out to extended family and its support. When financial and psychological support from the other parent is lacking, and especially when there is conflict and impairment, the tendency is to go to that nurturing environment elsewhere. Yes, it may also be to get as far away as possible from the alleged offending spouse. The emotional dissolution of marriage states complicate matters further. In reality, most families with children relocate every few years in an intact marriage, so why is such a surprise to either parent that divorced families relocate every few years. moving out of state is the most difficult issue to amicably resolve.
The focus must go to the best interest if the child and education as to what the child needs at his or her developmental stage. The focus must go to correcting the lack of financial and psychological support and the other underlying factors, such as evaluation and treatment of impairments, conflict, communication, difficulties. The focus must go to involving both parents in the children’s life whether or not it is in the best interest of the child to relocate. Creating communication mechanisms between the child and both parents whether they live a mile or one thousand miles apart is imperative. Having the same book in each household and reading to the child over the telephone or using computer cameras to read stories or videos of the parent reading stories daily is important. Sharing information through the use of the envelope and pad and pencil next to the refrigerator, videos, pictures and other involvements imperative. Faxes of artwork and notes and e-mails can be used with even young children. What is important is the attitudes of both parents and the focus on the child.
The parents should stipulate to process, procedure, and the involvements of professionals, psychological and financial, if necessary, to determine the best interest of the children. For example an agreement of visitation requiring a eight year-old child to travel, most often by vehicle between Sarasota, Florida and Valley, Alabama, a one-way drive of approximately 500 miles. A reasonable person could not conclude that this is a short drive, either in time or distance, for a child to undertake over a period of a weekend, particularly a round-trip drive. WE have strong concerns whether this practice is in the best interest of the child. Using a therapist mediator in assisting in developing process and procedure is imperative. Even consider and agreed Guardian Ad Litem investigation and recommendations and a team of a lawyer mediator, a therapist mediator, and accountant mediator or arbitration as an alternative.
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